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Updates from February, 2012

  • Gadget puts the sun to work Some people see the sun shining its benevolent glow through the car window and smell money. The Solar Window Charger, by XDModo, is a phone/gadget charger that attaches to the car window and uses the power of the sun to juice USB-attached devices. The charger employs a very simple and sleek design and does not draw needless attention. It has a 1,300-milliampere-hour battery, and it will connect to your electricity-starved gadgets by way of a standard USB port or a mini-USB port.

    A very nice solution for those of us who already occupy the cigarette lighter adapter with another accoutrement and need an alternative source to keep our juice-sucking smartphones powered up to the end of the day, the Solar Window Charger is available in three colours — grey, black or green. Until we figure out a way to destroy the sun, it is going to be shining through your car window, so you may as well use a product such as this to put that ball of fire to good use. $65; visit xdmodo.com.

    Kenwood gets chummy with streaming video Kenwood’s DDX419 is so new it’s not even listed on the company website. Launched at the recent Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, this double-din 6.1-inch touchscreen DVD player is available from online retailers and contains some innovative features. It has a built-in standard Bluetooth component for hands-free calls and audio streaming. Your phone’s contact directory will automatically transfer over to the stereo, making it easy to start outgoing calls. The stereo’s real integrated link to iPhone apps is unique. Users can watch streaming video sources such as Netflix and YouTube with the DDX419, which features on-screen controls to pause, fast forward and rewind these video apps. And, while the device does not feature integrated GPS, users of Garmin’s Streetpilot app for iPhone will be pleased to discover the app works very well on the DDX419’s screen. A solid operator through and through, Kenwood should nevertheless have opted for a smaller knob and buttons so that more touchscreen real estate could be fit into this worthwhile product. $400; visit kenwood.com.


    9:00 am on February 11, 2012
     
  • Like most things romantic, no one knows why we celebrate Valentine’s Day. Oh, we know there was a Valentinus (actually, there were two, possibly even three), but Saint Valentine’s Day was actually removed from the papal calendar because little is known of the eponymous martyr other than that he was buried on the Via Flaminia in Italy on February 14. Indeed, no specific connection between romantic love can be found with any of the Valentinuses (Valentini?).

    Experts contend the first written connection between Valentine’s Day and connubial bliss is not found for another 1,000 years in the writings of Chaucer (he of The Canterbury Tales). Even this association may be faulty, however, with at least some historians contending we’re attributing the famed English author’s romantic intentions to the wrong Saint Valentine’s Day. Little wonder men around the world remain confused.

    Of course, no end of self-help tomes have been written to educate we poor dunderheads on how to satisfy/appease/live-on-the-same-planet-as women, but men remain as mystified as ever by the inner machinations of the fairer sex. Books such as Women Are From Venus, Men Like Rocket Ships may claim to illuminate the subject, but show me a man who claims to truly understand his female companion and I’ll show you a man, well … trying to sell a self-help book.

    But cars we understand. Arithmetic, too. So, when insurancehotline.com generates some cold, hard numbers (statistics — yum!) linking relationship status and driving habits, we’re — or, at least, I am — all ears.

    The data holds few surprises. Those in committed relationships — sanctified by holy writ or not — drive a lot of minivans. Now, that’s often enough to put most males off the whole concept of romance, but that’s because, as my favourite self-help guide, Men: An Owner’s Manual, would say, we’re just too damned short-sighted. We should be thinking of the minivan as a sacrifice to the ancient gods of fertility (the one tenuous connection between Valentine’s Day and romantic love is that Lupercalia — the ancient Roman celebration of fertility — occurred in February) that we should fill up our people movers with our, uhm, I’ll leave it up to you regarding with what we should fill them up.

    Of course, the opposite is true. As soon as we get divorced, the insurance hotline says we jump into two-door coupes and, one presumes, beat a hasty retreat for the horizon. We also hop on to motorcycles as the kids leave the nest, the better to rekindle the spark of our testosterone-fuelled youth so thoroughly extinguished by all that fertility. This is often seen as a sign of our “golden years,” though, as insurance companies are so fond of pointing out, said two-wheeled adventure often results in plaster casts and bandages.

    Other tidbits are also unsurprising: Singles get more speeding tickets than married couples and divorcees. And widowers get the fewest of all. A cynic might construe that, the misery over, the once-betrothed now have nothing to run away from, hence their lackadaisical pace in hogging the freakin’ fast lane all to themselves.

    But the most egregious traffic offenders are those in a common-law relationship. Lore has it (or maybe I’m just fondly remembering my early 30s) that common-law partners have more sex than singles — who are more than eager for it but apparently can’t find it readily accessible — and married couples — readily accessible but no longer eager — and they may be just rushing home for a conjugal visit. Indeed, not only are common-law partners getting more traffic citations than any other relationship grouping, says insurancehotline.com, but a higher percentage of their infractions are for speeding. I call that eager.

    I hear you asking: All those statistics are all well and good, but what have we truly gleaned from this romantic/motoring analysis?

    Well, being a devoted number cruncher and a staunch believer in all things empirical, here’s your humble Motor Mouth’s new and improved guide to nuptial beatitude. First, resist marriage at all costs. (Look, honey, even the experts say I shouldn’t buy you a ring.) Second, buy her a minivan. Tell her it’s a gift to the ancient Roman gods of fertility (but, whatever you do, don’t mention that said Romans used to celebrate their eagerness by covering their otherwise naked bodies in bloodied goat skins and running through the streets touching pregnant women). And, for gosh sake, get a lot of speeding tickets. Just tell your insurance agent it was because you were rushing home to have sex. For once, he or she will believe you.


    9:00 am on February 9, 2012
     
  • By Peter Kenter

    There’s nothing quite like getting a car sparkling clean in an automated car wash. Car owners who want to bring that experience into their fashionable homes have a champion in French designer Philippe Malouin, who designed the Dervish lamp to simulate the effects of a spinning car wash brush.

    Philippe Malouin

    Whirling dervishes

    “While borrowing a friend’s car for the day, I decided to have it washed to show my gratitude,” he says. “I pulled into an automated car wash and, while inside, I couldn’t help but notice how the car wash brushes completely alter their shape from flimsy, drooping hair-covered rods to massive powerful beams. Could this quality of transformation be applied to the home sector? The car wash brushes go from limp to cones to beams. A lamp could use this whimsical feature to direct light from a tube of light to a cone to an open light source.”

    Part lamp, part ceiling fan, the Dervish is available in Canada at Montreal’s Commissaires for £2,500 ($3,950).


    9:00 am on February 6, 2012
     
  • Institute for Medical and Biological Problems

    These astronauts' mission to Mars took place in a parking lot.

    A simulated Mars exploration mission located in a Moscow parking lot has garnered a British DAFTA award for one of the most daft news items of 2011.

    Taking home the prize in the Weird Science category, the Mars-500 simulation exercise was organized by the Moscow-based Institute for Medical and Biological Problems in co-operation with the European Space Agency.

    Standing in for the Mars spacecraft — a bus-sized shipping container lined with wood panelling. Six volunteer astronauts were paid about $100,000 apiece for spending 18 months inside the container, where they ate space food, played video games such as Counter-Strike and conducted experiments.

    Long-distance communication with Earth was simulated by deliberately delaying messages from the home planet as they approached Mars.

    The astronauts emerged on to the parking lot only once during the mission, wearing spacesuits and picking their way across a strategic coating of red sand designed to simulate a Mars landing.


    9:00 am on February 4, 2012
     
  • Comfort and cool at odds Plantronics Voyager Pro HD Bluetooth headset does not look cool. It’s big and bulky and was clearly designed to be comfy chic rather than small and sleek. The device features a proximity sensor that detects when worn  so that, when you are talking on the phone and wish to switch mid-conversation to Bluetooth, the Voyager Pro HD will know when it’s slipped on to the ear and the call will be routed to the device.

    When you take the headset off, calls are switched back to the phone. It’s compatible with Vocalyst, Plantronics’ text and voice service, which handles emails via voice command and provides news and weather reports. Consumers are provided a one-year free trial, which is great, but we are reluctant to believe individuals are inclined to pay for subscription-based extras with their Bluetooth headset. Multipoint, WindSmart noise cancellation technology and voice alerts, which warn when the battery is low (among other information), round out a feature set on a product that is physically bigger than its contemporaries but may prove to be more cushy and comfortable. $100; visit plantronics.com.

    2. Old school Satechi serves There is serious throw-back quality to Satechi’s Soundfly View Bluetooth FM transmitter. Perhaps it’s the fact that dedicated, single-purpose Bluetooth devices armed with LCD screens intent on taking up cabin space seem ever so 2010. Maybe it’s the fact that the product prominently proclaims itself to be an FM transmitter, which seems so passé in the world of aux cables (to be fair, it has auxiliary capability, too). Whatever it is that makes this old school, the Soundfly View is very useful in-car — when price is considered. It will play music from SD Cards via an included slot, and this is decidedly new tech. If your car stereo does not have an auxiliary port, a product such as this is the only way to stream music from Bluetooth-enabled phones to the stereo. Another checkmark. And it has hands-free dialling, Bluetooth AVRCP 1.3 profile, which integrates with smartphone music apps to display song and artist information on-screen and a USB hub so mobile devices can be juiced while on the go. All good features within a perfectly priced proposition. $80; visit satechi.com.


    2:00 pm on February 3, 2012
     
  • It must be tough always being right, especially when you’re so wrong. Or, in the specific case of the automotive bailouts that so rankled many back in 2009, demagoguery can be a heavy burden. Indeed, if current events are the judge, the battle over these bailouts is still being fought.

    In his recent State of the Union address, U.S. President Barack Obama touted the resurgence of American automakers as one of the successes of his administration. Of course, skeptics can grouse (with some authority, I might add) that, with so few triumphs in the first two-and-a-half years of his administration, Obama had little choice but to trumpet Detroit’s (OK, Detroit’s and Turin’s) rather astonishingly quick return to health.One also has to admit that the earthquake and resultant tsunami that crippled Japan’s motor industry benefitted the U.S.’s Big Two-and-a-Half. Nor did having former No. 1 automaker Toyota suffer a much overblown unintended acceleration crisis hurt the cause either. One could, were one truly unkind, even note that, having hit rock bottom, there was no other direction — other than a Saab-like complete failure — for the U.S.  manufacturers to go.

    Nonetheless, I can’t help but think that what must gall Republicans in the United States (and more than a few of our own diehard Conservatives, including some at this very newspaper) is that, by any measure, American automakers have been resurgent since their 2009 bankruptcies and taxpayer-fuelled restructurings. By virtually every measure, they have capitalized on their good fortune and returned to profitability.

    Never mind that the bank loans so derided just a few years ago are being paid off faster than imagined. Or that Fiat so loves Chrysler it is buying up its outstanding shares faster than predicted. Ford and Chrysler have both grown market share since 2009 and, for the first time in many a year, Detroit’s combined portion of the U.S. market has actually increased. And, even if General Motors’ share of the Canadian pie has diminished a tick here, it’s because GM of Canada CEO Kevin Williams is adamant in weaning the (once again) world’s largest automaker off incentive deals and fleet sales.

    But the true measure of their success is that the domestic brands are (mostly) building better cars and, more importantly, the public is buying them. Chevrolet’s Cruze may not yet be the No. 1 compact sedan in North America, but, considering that just a few short years ago critics decried as impossible the profitable manufacture of a domestically built small car, the one million Cruzes sold worldwide must stand as a monumental success. Plus, has any brand been so comprehensively and thoroughly revised as Buick? Consumer awareness of the once somnolent brand’s new products may still lag behind the excellent vehicles in its showrooms, but I predict a notable resurgence in Buick sales over the next few years.

    Chrysler, initially decried a burden on parent Fiat, is now filling the company’s coffers with profits as European sales tank. The new Dodge Dart may not be as pretty as the Alfa Romeo Giulietta on which it is based, but I suspect it, too, will enjoy a modicum of success. And sales of Ram pickups remain stellar, Mopar’s pickups now challenging the finest from both Ford and GM.

    Even boring old Ford is cranking out some fine cars, the new Fusion that wowed this year’s North American International Auto Show in Detroit being a perfect example. And, where Toyota once had sole proprietorship of the green market, Ford is challenging the Japanese giant with a full range of alternative products — from more fuel-efficient EcoBoost powertrains to fully electrified Focuses. It’s not a good time to be a Detroit skeptic.

    Most distressing is GM’s latest CEO (it’s had three since the 2009 bankruptcy) Dan Akerson’s contention that the Chevrolet Volt has become a “political punching bag” for critics of the original bailouts.

    According to Automotive News, in his testimony to the House Oversight subcommittee looking into whether the investigation of two fires in crash testing was deliberately delayed, Akerson wrote, “The Volt seems, perhaps unfairly, to have become a surrogate for some to offer broader commentary on General Motors’ business prospects and administration policy.”

    It’s worth noting that the chairman of the subcommittee is a Republican vociferously against the bailouts and that the U.S. National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) has since said that the Volt does not present any more of a fire hazard than does a gasoline-fuelled automobile.

    Nonetheless, as Akerson points out, Volt sales have suffered since news of possible fire hazards were leaked.

    Ideology has no place in the pragmatic world of automobile manufacturing. Automobile manufacturing creates too many jobs and, yes, is too important to the national psyche — American and Canadian — to be left to the whims of political demagoguery. That so much of the discussion about whether the automakers should or should not have been bailed out is biased partisan canon and not hard-nosed business insight is just proof of how far the political discourse of our time has gone off the rails.

    Indeed, while it’s easy to denigrate the American Right for having been proven so wrong in this particular case, I suspect the Democrats were only right because large-scale government intervention just happened to fit their doctrine.


    9:00 am on February 2, 2012
     
  • Simple, solid Pioneer Jerry from Bell Island, Nfld. writes, “Great stuff as always, CARgo! Could you recommend a simple car stereo system for people not looking to spend a bundle?” Glad you asked, Jerry. Not all drivers want complicated stereos. Some are looking for a nice audio experience that’s better than factory radio but will not bog them down with features they’ll not use or instructions filled with complex gobbledygook.

    Most manufacturers have a good entry-level unit, but Pioneer Electronics’ new DEH-2400UB is a standout option for individuals seeking solid simplicity. It features a CD drive that can play MP3 files, a three-band equalizer with five factory pre-sets and 50 watts of power radiating from each of four speaker outs. Pioneer’s Advanced Sound Retriever and 24-bit digital-to-analogue converter ensures that MP3 playback won’t have any digital tin tone. It also offers a front-loading USB port, which is an excellent feature for people who carry their music around on a USB stick. This puppy has earned the CARgo seal of approval, Jerry. Thanks for your email. $110; visit pioneerelectronics.ca.

    Livio offers the biggest radio dial ever There are a lot of Internet music services competing for consumer attention. Between Spotify, Grooveshark, Mog, Pandora and countless other services, some available in Canada and some not, it’s difficult to ascertain which is best and to reconcile how they will enhance the daily commute. Fortunately, Livio’s Bluetooth Internet Radio Car Kit is a nice baby step toward the Internet music world, as it provides music on the go that’s streamed via the Internet. But it does so by acting like a traditional radio, with access to many AM, FM and Internet radio stations.

    Handout

    Livio Bluetooth Internet Radio Car Kit

    The kit combines a Bluetooth device with an FM transmitter and provides hands-free phone calls while accessing tens of thousands of existing radio stations through a Livio app that can be downloaded to a paired smartphone. According to Livio, there are more than 45,000 stations that are available on this dial, which makes this a steal if you consider the fact it could introduce you to a new radio station every day until you’re well past 100 years old. $120; visit livioradio.com.


    9:00 am on January 29, 2012
     
  • Scottsdale, Ariz. • I am not sure the good folks at Barrett-Jackson will appreciate the association, but, in person, the world’s most famous car auction feels a lot like the Moonlite BunnyRanch brothel that was forced into our hotel room TVs by HBO’s Cathouse: The Series. Oh, for sure, the Barrett-Jackson playground literally dwarfs the BunnyRanch, which always looks as if it is a bunch of double-wides thrown together. And, certainly, the money changing hands at Barrett-Jackson is off the charts; the purported US$100-million that customers plunked down for their lead sleds would require the girls at Las Vegas’s Ranch to work some serious overtime.

    Of this, however, there can be no doubt — both are meat markets. The BunnyRanch, of course, is up front about it. A man (well, usually a man) walks in the front door fresh from winning at the casino/getting off an oil rig/promising his wife he will behave in Las Vegas, and plumps down money for what, in any other jurisdiction, would be an illegal act. On the other hand, the Barrett-Jackson, viewed — as I had always have taken it in previously — appeared to be a classy affair. After all, the cars shown on TV were phantasmagorical and the amount of money changing hands — always the primary way success is judged — bordered on the outrageous. Besides, the auctioneer wears a tux and strides atop a podium. Surely, this has to be a classy affair.

    Up close and personal though, it’s tawdry. Wander on to the stage during one of the earlier days when the more pedestrian (that should be read cheaper) vehicles are auctioned and the event really does feel like a cheap trick arguing with one of the girls over the cost of you know what; it’s a veritable cattle call of automotive chrome.

    Just like the girls lining up for the prospective clients at the Ranch, cars have as little as 45 seconds on stage to impress prospective clients. And, just like those sex trade workers back in Nevada, the car’s owners are encouraged to flout their boobies, excuse me, engines as provocatively as possible.

    In fact, most of the cheaper cars arrive on stage with their hoods and trunks already released so that they may be stripped bare in as little time as possible. Hell, sometimes the producers demand a look “under the skirt,” the cameras, just as at the BunnyRanch, probing underneath the product where most of us never look. Then — and this happens a lot more frequently than appears on TV — if the car fails to excite the crowd, it’s less than ceremoniously hustled off the stage. Indeed, on the Wednesday night I attended, about five AC Cobras (or replicas) appeared on stage in quick succession. So bored was the audience that the last car barely hit $30,000 before being bum-rushed into the parking lot — this despite the auctioneer’s best efforts to build its provenance by claiming baseball legend Reggie Jackson once sat in its front seat. (And you thought that BunnyRanch owner Dennis Hof’s attempts to build up Sunset Thomas’s price tag by noting she starred in Misty Beethoven: The Musical was pathetic).

    Just like in houses of ill repute, the casual workers at the Barrett-Jackson auction look as though they’d like to be anywhere else. Just as no one in a strip club is more bored than the poor DJ who has to announce “and straight from the outskirts of upper Hamilton, let’s give a big round of applause for Anita Job” five times every night, the poor guys shuffling cars on stage looked bored out of their minds. Ditto the guys polishing the gleaming chrome. You would have thought they were waxing an ’85 K-car for all their enthusiasm.

    This, perhaps, leads to the most dispiriting part of the Barrett-Jackson auction. Wander the vast staging areas and almost every one of the 1,300-plus cars on the block this year was a fastidiously assembled, meticulously painted (if sometimes garish) rendition of a classic automobile.

    And, just as we are repeatedly reminded (or, sadly, have to be reminded) that sex trade workers are human beings with the same ambitions, hopes and aspirations as the rest of us, most of the cars on sale here were, at one point in time, someone’s dream car — with parts sourced, long hours of dirty, thankless restoration and, most of all, hard-earned money spent on something that can seldom be recouped.

    Yes, a few sellers, especially those auctioning off rare and collectible vintage rides, might have made a profit. And, yes, the Barrett-Jackson auction was a veritable playground for the automotive voyeur. But, just as one can’t help but think working at the BunnyRanch is the last rung on the ladder of broken dreams, watching all those pretty cars being churned over like so much scrap metal just made me sad.


    9:00 am on January 26, 2012
     
  • By Peter Kenter

    A Scottish woman says she’ll buy Hovis brand bread exclusively after surviving a car crash courtesy of a  “medium-sliced white loaf” that cushioned her head during the accident.

    Liz Douglas of Stronachlachar, Scotland says she attempted to avoid a telephone pole, then flipped her car.

    Getty Images/Thinkstock

    Saved by the bread!

    “The loaf had been thrown from the back seat of the car and landed on the roof of the car inside the vehicle in time to cushion my head during its contact with the roof of the vehicle,” Douglas told the Stirling Observer. “I was trapped inside the car for almost an hour in total between having the accident and while emergency services cut me from the car.

    During this time, the loaf remained as a cushion and support for my head as I was upside down.” Douglas says she has preserved the life-saving loaf “complete with the impression of my head still in it.”


    9:00 am on January 22, 2012
     
  • Third eye on the road Ray Kurzweil’s Law of Accelerating Returns states that, as technology progresses, it evolves faster and faster. So, while consumers are just starting to warm up to Bluetooth and GPS as safe driving solutions, new technology has already arrived ready to shift the paradigm within the daily commute.

    The Mobileye 560 is an Advanced Driver Assistance System that combines a smart camera along with a visual display interface, which work together to measure distance to other vehicles, alert drivers to potential collisions, identify jaywalking pedestrians and signal unexpected lane closures. It’s a safety system that keeps an extra eye on the road, continually calculating the location and speed of other occupants and then reporting back via an icon system when danger is anticipated. It also uses Bluetooth to send visual alerts via a smartphone, and it can track driving performance to keep an eye on what teen drivers are doing to the car. If it all seems rather futuristic, that’s because it is. And, given the pace of technology, in about one year’s time, it likely won’t be. $850; visit mobileye.com.

    Garmin’s half-way to a tablet Dedicated GPS devices are in danger of extinction due to the rise of the tablet. But navigation manufacturer Garmin is doing a good job at staying current, introducing all sorts of features in its Nüvi 3590LMT, which mimics the contemporary trappings of the tablet crusaders. This five-inch touchscreen device is thin and introduces a very detailed 3D-rendered building view, with a responsive interface that allows users to pan around the map quickly for that ideal perspective. It has Bluetooth capability, and the built-in microphone serves as an input device to control this puppy via voice control. The 3590LMT is compatible with Garmin’s Smartphone Link for Android devices, which provides an array of services such as traffic information, traffic cameras, weather and fuel prices, all the while utilizing the Android device’s mobile data plan. We hope GPS hardware manufacturers move into the tablet business in the coming year, because they are already half-way there. Garmin should add email and provide a browser to poach Web service from the tethered Android device — then Bob’s your uncle. $399; visit garmin.com.


    9:00 am on January 21, 2012